


The Accomplice

by FixOrRideDaily



Series: Until Proven Guilty [2]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Piercings, Porn With Plot, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:24:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixOrRideDaily/pseuds/FixOrRideDaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First it was Chris and Josh, then it was Chris and Josh and Ashley...</p><p>Chris is just not sure what his life is supposed to look like now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Accomplice

**Author's Note:**

> Parts of this were originally in Chris' chapter of "Guilty as Charged" but it felt like a pretty big left turn from the plot so I took it out. I liked it though so I added some things and made it it's own one-shot.
> 
> I decided to get some practice writing NSFW stuff while I was at it too.
> 
> I don't think you HAVE to read the other story to get what's going on in this, but I think it would make it better since this essentially takes place in the middle of it.

Chris watched Ashley out of the corner of his eyes while he drove along the old highway they'd found. The windows were rolled down so he had the radio off. The only sound was the wind rushing through the cab. She was putting her earrings back in her ears. He guessed her father had told her that her gaudy studs wouldn't have been appropriate for court. She had seven piercings in total. Two in her left ear, four in her right and one in her bellybutton, he actually hadn't known about that last one until a few weeks ago. It felt conceited to think so, but he wondered if she had gotten it done to impress him. Though the last two people Chris had sort of almost dated had had both of their eyebrows and tongue and their lip and septum pierced respectively. There had been no end to the number of crude jokes about Chris having a fetish for body jewelry that Josh made after both of those failed romantic undertakings.

“You wish I was that easy,” Chris had said after probably the eight hundredth time it came up when they were hanging out in Constellations, the jewelry and tattoo place all three of them liked best, waiting for Ashley to finish her shopping spree. Josh and Chris were treating her for her birthday.

“Is that a hint for me to get my dick pierced for you? Cause I'll do it bro,” Josh asked looking serious and making Chris' ears turn bright red. Josh smirked at that then went back to checking out a pair of skull themed gauges. He always talked about starting the process, but he never went through with it.

“Yeah, let's see if you can man up enough for a size 14 set of gauges first,” Chris answered trying to change the subject and pointed at the display Josh was already looking at, “Ash is at a 6 already.”

He shouldn't have mentioned their other friend because Josh smirked again in that deviously crooked way of his when he did and leaning in closely to Chris said, “Well, we're paying for it. You wanna try talking Ash into getting something new pierced for you instead? Maybe her nipples or her clit?”

“Dude,” Chris whisper-shouted at his best friend hitting him hard in the shoulder. His ears turned even redder than they already were and his cheeks lit up to match. Josh laughed loudly having accomplished his goal of embarrassing him. They got a lot of looks from people in the store. Ashley just rolled her eyes, used to them by then. She wandered over with a smile on her face and her 'gifts' in her hands.

“What are you thinking about?” The Ashley sitting next to him in the truck asked him.

“Huh?” he asked glancing over at her. She had let her hair down and it was flapping wildly all over her head. It looked like it had been straightened for the proceedings, but the wind was quickly ruining that.

“You were licking you lips a lot,” Ashley explained, “You always do that when you're lost in thought about something. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” he said trying to focus on the road ahead of him. He didn't usually zone out while driving. 

“So, Josh then?” She responded tilting her head to the side a little. He sighed as if that was an answer. She nodded a few times, “Yeah me too, Chris.”

He saw an overlook or something like it up ahead. He pulled off towards it and parked his pickup. They sat there for a few minutes with the truck still running. Chris wasn't really sure what to do. From the look on her face, neither was Ashley. He shut the engine off. Then they sat there. In silence.

Finally, “Listen Chris, if you need to talk about Josh-”

“I don't need to talk about Josh.”

“I'm just saying that I'm here for you if you want to talk to me about it.”

“I don't want to talk about it, okay?”

“I don't think we can just ignore what is happening here, you know.”

“Ashley! I said I don't want to talk so just stop, okay?” He was yelling at her. He felt really bad about doing that. He tried hard not to yell at Ashley because her father yelled at her and her sister all the time. 

“Okay,” She answered, her voice sad and small. He wanted to kiss her to comfort her, but he didn't think he was allowed to do so after he got mad at her like that. He didn't know what to say to her. Neither of them knew how to deal with the huge Josh shaped hole that was left in their lives. Chris had pictured himself with Ashley many times over the years in many ways, not all of which were family friendly, but never had it ever looked like this. Never was Josh so completely out of the picture. He was always there in some capacity. Bugging Chris for all the “gory details,” crashing in on their date nights (they wouldn't mind too much though), teasing them from the sidelines, making his vulgar jokes and sexual innuendos, double dating with his latest catch of the week (or with Sam once Chris had learned about that little tryst), claiming dibs on best man and godfather and “You know Ashley boy or girl, Joshua is such an underused name for babies these days, just think about that.”

That wasn't the reality however. It didn't feel fair. It didn't feel right. He stared at Ashley. She looked about as upset as he felt. He felt like he had to do something. He had lost Josh. He couldn't lose her too. He wouldn't be able to stand it. It would break him. He was sure of that.

“You wanna go lay out on the truck bed and smoke a bit?” Chris asked Ashley in some form of peace offering. She seemed to consider it for a moment. Then she sighed.

“Might as well,” she said. He was confused. She looked ashamed when she explained, “My dad knows that we smoke pot. He's pretty mad about it. He's also really mad that I didn't tell him we were dating.”

“Oh, is that what we're doing?” Chris teased leaning in closer to her with a smirk. He was upset to hear she hadn't told her father about the two of them, but he knew he shouldn't mention it. Saying anything would make him a hypocrite as he hadn't told his mother about them either. He figured her reasons were probably similar to his own. The pot thing was going to be much worse for them anyway. His mother had been aware on some level that Chris smoked pot and even though she didn't like it, she decided to let him make his own choices. Ashley's father was not going to feel the same way. In fact he was sure that the guy had a whole different opinion of him after hearing about it. That was quite a shame because Richard Brown had always said he liked Chris a lot. 'Get in good graces with dad' was something Chris had thought he had locked down already in this relationship.

“Well, you haven't exactly taken me on a 'date' date yet,” Ashley said leaning away coyly and opening her door to climb out of the truck, she was blushing. “But we sure do a whole lot of kissing and stuff.”

“Is that a request for me to take you on a 'date' date then?” Chris said grabbing the blanket and ashtray he kept behind his seat and following her out the door. He liked that idea very much actually.

“Not necessarily. I like what we're doing now,” she answered as he shut her door and they headed for the truck bed. Chris climbed up first (it took him three tries) spread out his blanket and set down his ashtray. Then he pulled Ashley up with him. It felt awkward as they both sat down and spread out their legs. There was enough room for one more person back there and they both tried to ignore that that was because there was supposed to be one more person with them when they did this. Even when Ashley opened her purse and pulled out three already rolled up joints out of habit before putting one back.

Chris lit her joint like he did when they first smoked together and then lit his own. He lay down immediately and looked up at the sky. She stayed sitting for awhile. He wondered if he should put his head on her stomach and try braiding her hair for her. He wondered if that would make her happy. He decided that might just make her feel worse. She finally lay down next to him. They smoked in silence.

That was the weirdest part. They were never silent when they smoked together. Well, Chris was always quiet when he was high. Ashley would talk and talk and talk. Problem was she talked with Josh. They talked about weird things Chris didn't get, but liked to listen to anyway. They talked about alien spaceships and whether the ocean and all the beaches in the world were lovers. He had tried to stop them with logical scientific explanations once but they would have none of it. They shushed him and continued mulling over the idea that the people in the T.V. must get lonely when you shut it off.

He looked at her now. She was laying there, smoke drifting around her head. Her large round eyes were wide open towards the sky and they shifted all around like she was watching the thoughts in her head bounce around and knock into each other to make new ideas. She reached up to adjust her beanie only to discover she wasn't wearing one. She kept forgetting this not too long after she did it and would do it again. Her glossy pink lips were parted slightly and she'd make a slight noise every few seconds like she really wanted to say something. 'Things her companion wouldn't understand,' Chris thought sadly. Still she looked so frayed and so messy and so anxious and so Ashley. He craved that almost painfully.

Clearing his throat, he leaned on his side to face her, she turned his way. Her eyes were filled with curiosity and her nose twitched a little as she waited for him to speak. He was struck by how cute she was when she wanted for information. That was her, her state of mind full of wonder, all the time.

“You uh, you ever think about all the different things mountains are able to see?” He asked slowly, “You know cause they're so uh old and tall and stuff?” Lord, he was bad at this.

A huge smile broke out across her face then. She knew what he was doing. He guessed she must have appreciated it too. She didn't answer him. Instead she closed the person sized distance between them and laid her head on his chest. She cuddled right up against his side, giggled a little and whispered, “Chris, you know that I love you right? You don't have to try and be anybody else to make me happy.”

He did know that. Wait! What?

“Did you just say that you loved me?” He asked the top of her head. They had gone the whole ride without either of them mentioning his vocal slip-up in court today, where he had said he loved her.

“Oh,” She leaned up to look at him, “I'm sorry. I figured you didn't want to talk about what you said today. I thought you were probably embarrassed. I didn't mean to say it.”

“I didn't mean to say it either,” he said quickly sitting up a little in some form of defense. Why did he feel like he could hear his blood in his ears?

“Oh,” Ashley said, she looked nervous all of a sudden, “Does that mean that you didn't mean it?”

“I didn't say that,” Chris said and then realized that he didn't actually answer her question. She rolled away from him and looked back up at the sky. It was starting to get dark out. Ashley was afraid of the dark. She'd ask him to take her home soon.

“So, did you mean it then?” She asked. He sat up to look at her. Her hair was a tangled mess from the wind. She was surrounded by smoke from their forgotten joints in his ashtray. She didn't notice that her sweater was almost completely off. Light brown almost red freckles dotted her shoulders and her neck and what he could see of her small perky breasts. Both of her tattoos on either side of her collar bone moved with every breath she took; a sun and clouds with 'Life must be lived forwards' scrawled across it, and a moon and stars with 'But can only be understood backwards' written backwards across it.

“Yeah, I did,” he said licking his lips before leaning down to kiss her. She kissed him back gripping his shoulders. He had been kissing Ashley for weeks but he was sure he would never get tired of it. She tasted like imitation cherry flavor (her lip gloss), a little bit of pot smoke and overwhelmingly of coffee. She made all manner of little high pitch whines and moved her lips in these quick little sensual movements. She barely used her tongue and sometimes she'd bite his lips a tiny bit in her excitement.

“I meant it too,” she said in that breathy voice that he loved when he pulled away slightly, “Just so you know that. I meant it when I said it too.” He didn't respond. He dove back in for another round of kisses instead. He was almost laying on her and he felt her knee in his stomach. It wasn't very comfortable, but he certainly didn't want to move. It was just really starting to hurt when she pushed him up and off of her. He was disappointed until he understood what she was doing.

“Wait. Wait a sec,” she said pulling her sweater all the way off and bunching it up behind her head. She rested back on it and then she shifted her legs so they wrapped around his waist. “There. That's better.”

'Or worse in a way' he thought as he felt her pull him back down to her by his biceps. She wrapped her arms around his neck and recaptured his lips with her own. He was laying directly on top of her this time. Vaguely he was aware that they were outside in public and this was not the kind of thing they did. Normally when they messed around they waited until either of their parents weren't home and did so in one of their bedrooms or their living rooms. They also tended to be wearing jeans and t-shirts and not fancy clothes meant for court hearings. He was pretty sure the skirt of Ashley's dress was rising higher on her thighs every second. Then he must have moved in a particular way because...

“Oh,”Ashley sighed out suddenly before a blush covered her face, “Um, hi there.”

Yeah, that was the other positive to jeans as opposed to thin dress clothes. Of course, she felt that.

“Uh, hi,” he said back, his face, as well as other parts of him, felt like it was on fire, “Do you want me to get off?” He really wished he had used a different choice of words.

“No, it's fine,” she answered, “It's more than fine actually.” She was literally biting her tongue. She was teasing him. He wanted to grind hard against her to get back at her and for obvious other reasons too. He didn't have the guts to do it though.

“Yeah?” he asked playfully instead leaning down to kiss her along her jaw and her neck, “How about this? Is this fine?”

“Chris...” She trailed off into a groan. That's okay, he knew it was. Her head fell back almost immediately to give him access. Ashley loved having her neck kissed. It was always the closest she got to moaning when they made out, which Chris really liked. It surprised him that Ashley's voice could even go that deep. Her legs were rising up around his mid-section too. 

“Ch...Chri...Chris,” she was stumbling over her words and he both loved and hated the little boost that gave to his ego. He dug his fingers into her hair because he knew she liked that too. Her hips moved up against his a little, which he returned in kind. He felt groans in his own throat as he heard her gasp a bit.

“Chris...we...we,”she still couldn't speak right and her fingers were digging into his back. He couldn't blame her. If he tried to talk during this it would have come out as babbling infant speech. 

“Chris...we...we shou-... we should,” her gasping words were getting much faster if no more coherent. 'We should stop,' he thought, 'That's what she's trying to say.' Just thinking it hurt a little, but she was right and he knew it. Things were getting out of hand.

“Chris,” he couldn't believe how much she stretched out his one syllable name, “We should have sex.”

That got him to stop. He leaned up on his elbows and stared down at her. This was the first time he noticed his glasses weren't on straight anymore either. He fixed them quickly and then blinked a few times in surprise. He swallowed hard.

“What?” his voice was raspier than he remembered it being. He wondered how long they had been fooling around for it to get like that.

“Well, that's not quite the reaction I was hoping for,” Ashley said looking away from him.

“What reaction were you hoping for?” This was why he was still a virgin.

“I don't know,” She shrugged a little, “I guess 'Yeah'?” She mocked pumping her fist in excitement.

“I'm just caught off guard is all,” he explained, “That you want to have sex with me.” No, wait this was why he was still a virgin.

“I mean that you want to have sex with me right now,” he amended, “Here,” Out in the open like this. In the back of my dirty old pickup truck.

“Why? I love you remember?” She wiggled her hips, “Wanting you sexually is usually a part of that.”

“I know.” Her movements felt a little too good truthfully.

“Do you not want to?” she asked, putting both her hands on his chest in a comforting way.

“God, no,” he said too quickly, then “I mean that in that's not what I meant. I do want to. I want to.”

“Then the issue here is..?”

What was the issue? They both wanted it. They had known each other for many years and were in a committed relationship with one another. They were virgins so he was pretty sure they were probably both clean. He guessed they might get caught by someone if they did it out here, but they weren't on a main road or anything and it was pretty dark out already. He didn't have any protection on him, because why would he, but he was Ashley's best friend and knew she had been on birth control regularly since she was thirteen for certain “medical purposes.” So that took care of that.

“There is none,” he said, a smile coming back onto his face as he leaned down close to her.

“So..?” she asked sliding her hands underneath his shirt and pawing her way to his back. That sent an electric chill through him and he kissed her hard and deliberate in response.

“So,” he answered pulling off his glasses and setting them aside, “I think I'm about to rock your world, Strawberry Shawty.” It didn't sound even remotely smooth in any way. But she laughed a tiny sexy little laugh and shifted her hips up against his. He thought that was better than if she had found it debonair.

He kissed her again for a long while and they continued to grind up against each other because even though they had both agreed they were doing this that didn't mean either of them knew how to start. Getting naked seemed out of the question given their current location though that one was for sure. Eventually Chris realized that one of them would have to do something or they'd have to back out of this entirely and he really didn't want that. 

Pulling back he smiled nervously down at Ashley and backed down her body until he was kneeling between her legs. She leaned up on her elbows and watched him with anticipation. He still wasn't sure what to do but he placed his hands on the outside of her legs and slowly slid them up her thighs. She bit her lip when he did that so he guessed she liked it and he pushed the skirt of her dress completely up. Her pink underwear was fully on display for him. He thought that should turn him on less than it did.

“Could you uh maybe lift up your hips?” he asked her when his hands reached her panties. She nodded and did so. He hooked his fingers into the sides of the little pink delicates and slowly pulled them down her beautiful long legs. Ashley watched him the whole time he did it and he couldn't decide if he liked that or not. He put the garment aside and put his hands back on her legs.

He wanted to touch her down there but he didn't know if that would be okay with her which seemed stupid because they were about to have sex. He leaned over her instead as he reached down and started undoing his own slacks. She just kept quietly watching him and it really didn't help his nerves at all.

Once that was done he climbed back on top of her and together they awkwardly shuffled his pants and boxers down his legs. Then she wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him down to her pressing his lips to her own and bringing their hips back together again.

Sweet lord he could feel her wet curls and soft skin against his penis. His hips bucked forward and he moaned deeply. He wanted inside of her and he wanted inside of her now!

“Are you... are you ready?” he asked breaking their kiss.

“Oh yes, Chris please,” she responded her eyelids half closed.

He pushed into her then, slowly because he was afraid of hurting her. She gasped a little and he almost stopped but then her hips moved up and he kept going. It was hot and wet and he felt himself being squeezed tightly by her and he needed more and they hadn't even started and then he was inside of her.

Her eyes were open now and so was her mouth. She was breathing heavily and a little whine would come out here and there. He wanted to move so bad it was agonizing, but he thought ludicrously if he did that somehow it would be bad and it would be wrong. He stayed there watching her, waiting.

“Chris,” she said in her wonderful breathy voice. Then she was kicking her legs and rutting her hips and he snapped out of his daze and started rocking forward into her. She started to sigh and gasp and chant his name. He pressed himself hard against her and latched his mouth onto her neck and he felt her around him. He wanted to be closer to her. She was so soft and hot and wet. He needed to be deeper in her and he found himself moving faster and harder building towards a release. It was close, so very close. He pulled totally out of her abruptly and she whined in disappointment.

Then he was coming and it felt so good that he didn't have the thought to be embarrassed about the stupid noises and ugly faces he was absolutely making. When he finished he looked at her and she was smiling. She reached up and stroked his face and kissed his nose, but that didn't make him feel better.

“Sorry,” he muttered feeling very inadequate.

“It's okay,” she said and she looked sincere, but that wasn't good enough for him.

“No, it's really not,” he told her looking away from her face.

“Chris,” she started but she didn't get the chance to finish because he shifted down her body and soon had his head buried between her thighs. He didn't hesitate to run his tongue along her already dripping opening a few times before making his way up to sucking on what he thought was her clitoris and all his doubts earlier gone he boldly slipped two of his fingers inside of her. His other hand went up under her dress to fondle her belly and he found himself playing with her piercing.

“Chris...”she shrieked sounding like she liked this even better than what they had been doing before. Her legs came up and wrapped around his shoulders. He wondered briefly if Ashley could crush his head with her thighs. But then she was making so many wonderful noises and moving her hips up to meet his face that he's not sure he'd care if she did.

“Shit that is so fucking good,” she cried out. He groaned into her at that. Ashley hardly ever cursed and knowing he had brought it out of her was very arousing. He got excited and bit her a little, pumping and rolling his fingers rapidly inside of her. Then he heard her gasp out and felt the sudden wave of fluid on his chin that meant she was climaxing. She pulled roughly at his hair, her finger nails digging into his scalp, grinding her hips hard up against his face and squeezing her legs tightly around his head. It was all almost entirely too sexy for him to even handle.

Ashley was trying to catch her breath when he sat back on his knees and wiped off his mouth. She was sighing a little and running her fingers through her hair while he fixed his pants. Her eyes were closed and her hair was all over the place. Her dress skirt was still pushed up and tangled around her waist so he could very clearly see her fully exposed vagina and long legs. She looked blissful and giddy and satisfied. He was getting hard again from watching her.

“Wow, we just had sex,” he said as if it was only occurring to him then as he handed her underwear back to her.

“Yeah, I know” she said in a equally shocked voice.

“So, do you feel any different?” he asked because he didn't know what you say after first time sex.

“I feel really great,” she said in a giggly voice, “Oh and I definitely wanna do that again. Soon.”

“Noted,” he said knowing that he was blushing at how much she evidently enjoyed his efforts. She slid her panties back on and then pulled her sweater on after it. She fixed the rest of her clothes and then handed him his glasses. She moved to sit next to him. He could only barely see her at that point it had gotten so dark out, but he hoped she looked as happy as he felt. They began cuddling and kissing each other lightly. Chris didn't let things to get any more intense. Repeating this right then would not have been the best idea. Ashley sighed sadly after awhile as if she knew what he was thinking.

“It's getting late,” she said, looking upset, “I should go home.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “Me too.”

Neither of them moved for quite a while though.

\---

It was almost ten 'o clock at night and he had no idea what he was doing here.

Nobody would be worried. His mom was on the late shift tonight meaning she'd be at work until one. Dan wouldn't care that he was out because he tried not to do too much parenting when it came to Chris. He had made it clear when the man married his mother that he was not his father and he had no interest in his opinions, his rules, or his input. Dan and Chris ended up being more like friendly acquaintances that lived in the same house than father and son, that suited them both just fine. His own son, Brian, was also a huge asshole who got in way more trouble than Chris or any of his friends did and so Dan had his hands full through most of Chris' formative years anyway.

He had dropped Ashley off at her house a few hours ago and discovered that nothing in the world was probably more awkward then shaking a man's hand in greeting not that long after you'd had sex with his daughter in the back of your vehicle then finished the job with your mouth and fingers. He definitely didn't look at Chris the same way that he used to. Whether that was because he had discovered the younger man was a pot smoker or because he was seeing Chris for the first time as Ashley's boyfriend or because he was aware of the exact adult activities they had been getting up to earlier that evening, Chris wasn't sure. It made him uncomfortable no matter the reason.

Ashley gave him a chaste kiss goodbye that stirred something primal in him even though it really shouldn't have. Then he drove around for a long time. He noticed he wasn't heading home right away, but he just kept going. He didn't know where his subconscious was leading him, but he trusted it.

He was about five streets away when he realized where precisely he was driving to. He didn't stop though. He slowed down a little as he got closer and remembered how many different memories these streets held for him. He actually snorted out a laugh when he passed the bench where he and Josh had their first puking fit from drinking too much. Where the cops had found them and brought them back to the Washington mansion. Melinda hadn't told Chris' mom or her husband about it. She helped them clean up and let Chris spend the night with the rich boy in his huge bed. He woke up feeling even worse than he had the night before wearing a pair of Josh's pajamas (which never fit him right because his best friend was wider and shorter than he was) and with Josh's right foot in his face and his left leg draped over his stomach. Chris had rolled him onto the floor in annoyance.

That's why he wasn't surprised when he pulled over in front of the gate at the end of the Washington's large property. He had no idea what he was doing there, but he wasn't shocked to find that he had driven himself there. Chris had probably driven here dozens of times. Despite how big the mansion was, he knew it as well as he did his own house, he probably knew it even better considering Chris had taken to spending so many hours with Josh there after his mom got married. 

He thought it should look more foreboding and scary. He felt like it should look like something off of the cover of one of those Gothic novels Ashley kept on her bookshelf. He had been feeling that way since Hannah and Beth went missing over a year ago. It looked the same as it always had though. Big and impressive and promising a fun time. It promised deep belly laughs and stupid childish pranks and drunken nights and ten friends creating moments that would go down in their personal histories forever. It was starting to feel like nothing could taint his good memories of this place.

He wasn't sure why he wanted them tainted, but Chris had so many good memories here. His first sleepover had been here. The first time he ever hung out with Ashley outside of science class was when they both attended a party here. His first kiss (with Beth) happened in this house's kitchen even if she did turn out to be a lesbian. The first large birthday party he ever had was thrown here for him by Josh when he was thirteen because Josh found out he was Jewish and “Aren't you like a man in your religion now, bro?” Yes, but his family didn't practice. The idea was nice though and the party had been great. Josh was always incredibly thoughtful that way.

He got out of his truck, walked up to the gate that led to the Washington mansion and found out that it was locked. It never used to be locked, even this late at night. He fumbled quite a bit and ripped a hole or two in dress shirt, but he managed to climb over. He had hopped enough fences with Josh in their time to know what he was doing. Then he wandered up the long driveway and rang the doorbell.

He's not sure what he would have said or done if Bob or Melinda came out. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say to Josh. He didn't have to worry though, because it was Josh who answered the door and turned on the deck light. He didn't look that confused to see him there. He barely opened the door and was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt unlike Chris who still had yet to change from court.

“Hey,” Chris said feeling like all this should actually be more awkward than it felt.

“Hey,” Josh said, “I saw you walking up the driveway. Why didn't you just buzz at the gate?”

“I forgot.” He hadn't had to buzz through the gate in a long while and he wasn't sure anybody would let him in even if he did. They stood there in silence for a while neither sure what they should be saying next. Josh kept his eyes right on Chris while Chris looked around the deck for anything to distract him. Chris noticed that Josh didn't invite him in, and he didn't think he should ask to be let in either.

“So...” Josh said opening the door a little bit more and stepping outside somewhat.

“I had sex with Ashley for the first time tonight.” The words just sort of tumbled out of his mouth.

Josh didn't look any less confused or awkward and honestly how could Chris have expected him to? That didn't explain anything, “Um way to go, you dog you? Did you come here just to tell me that?”

“Kinda.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Cause I have a lot to say about it and you're still my best friend.” Is that why he was here?

“Alright then,” Josh said and then he walked out onto the deck shutting the door behind him. He made his way over to the deck chairs and sat down. He motioned for Chris to do the same and waited. Chris still felt weird about not being invited inside but pushed it aside and sat across from Josh in an identical, admittedly very comfortable, chair.

“Okay uh how are you feeling?” Josh asked as casually as he could manage reclining back in his chair. Chris thought about that for a little bit. He searched far into his gut for the answer and then leaning onto his knees with his hands hanging down he answered.

“Honestly, I feel pretty fucking awful.”

“Damn, well sorry about that man,” Josh said with a shrug, “First time usually isn't that great though. You just gotta keep doing it until you get better at it.” Chris shook his head in disbelief at that. Josh didn't understand what he was saying. He didn't understand what he meant.

“No, dude, it... it wasn't... it wasn't bad,” Chris tried to clarify, “It uh was um pretty amazing actually...” He should be keeping a tally of how often he made Josh look completely confused tonight. It was starting to get up there.

“Alright, I'm lost,” Josh said shaking his head, “If you got to get down and dirty with Ashley and you both felt the earth move when you did it then why the hell do you feel so goddamn awful about it?”

Chris sighed, “Because you might be going to jail, Josh.”

“What?” Yes, definitely should be keeping a tally.

Chris started pacing to release his built up energy. “You're on trial for what you did to us up on Blackwood Pines and yeah I'm upset with you for it and yeah it was pretty fucked up and all, but I mean I'm supposed to be your best friend, and instead of being here with you and supporting you through this, I'm testifying against you in court making this all worse for you and if that's not bad enough by itself then I'm also off screwing Ash in the bed of my pickup truck!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” Josh said holding up his hands, “You two did it in the bed of your pickup truck? Nice one!”

“Josh,” Chris said almost shouting in exasperation, “Can you please focus on the point here?”

“And what is the point, Chris?” Josh asked genuinely or sarcastically he couldn't tell.

“That I'm a shitty best friend and I can't believe I'm doing this again,” Chris said before collapsing back in his chair, “When your sisters went missing and you were really sick I wasn't there for you. I put all my energy into Ashley instead because that was easier. Because I knew I could handle that. I focused on her and not you even though you were the one who needed me. And here you are needing me again and I'm doing the same thing. I'm putting all my attention into Ashley. God, it's no wonder you hate me.”

Josh was silent and Chris felt like he might start crying. A long time stretched where neither of them said or did anything. Chris felt like he wanted to see Ashley and he was mad at himself for it. Then he wondered if he should leave. He wondered if coming here had been a mistake.

“You think I hate you?” Josh asked looking the most confused he had all night.

“Well, yeah,” Chris answered, “That's why you made me do all that stuff right? Like pick between you and Ashley and then pick between me and Ashley? That's the point you were trying to make right? That I care more about her than I do you even when you need me more?”

Now Josh looked angry and Chris got the feeling he had said something wrong. That he had messed up somehow. He couldn't imagine how though. He had been over this a few times and he couldn't think of any other explanation for Josh's actions. Wrong and screwed up as they had been, he had to have some reason even in his delusional state for putting Chris through what he did.

“Is that true?” Josh asked, almost spat at him.

“Well, no, of course it isn't true,” Chris said. He was a little afraid of Josh these days.

“Then why would you think that?” Josh asked anger still lacing his words.

“Because I don't know why else you would want to punish me like that Josh,” Chris explained. Josh sighed heavily and looked away from him.

“I wasn't punishing you,” He finally said.

“What?”

“Chris, I don't hate you and I wasn't punishing you for anything. I,” Josh rubbed his face with his hands, “I just really missed you, okay? And I wanted you to grow some balls and hook up with Ash. I thought you'd remember how much you missed me too if you thought I was dead. And I thought maybe if you thought that you could lose Ashley too you'd tell her how you felt about her. I thought... I thought that this would help us move on. I thought...fuck I don't what I thought, man. I'm really sick in the head. And I'm really fucking sorry.”

“You could have just told me that you missed me.” Chris said quietly, then feeling a little offended added “And I would have asked Ash out eventually.”

“No,” Josh answered, “It wasn't the same. Without Hannah and Beth. You got weird. You thought it was your fault I got drunk that night. You always blamed yourself for what happened to my sisters just like me and that made shit weird with us. And you were always so sure you were next. You were so sure that you were gonna end up just like Hannah and that Ash was like Mike so you kept playing it safe there. You were afraid to fucking live Chris. I was sick of it.”

He hated when Josh was right.

“And maybe I was a little mad that you got me drunk that night,” Josh admitted, “And a little jealous of all the time you were spending with Ashley. But I mean you're my best friend Chris, I couldn't hate you. I just wanted things to be the way the were. Before,” Josh finished. 

And it really didn't make sense to Chris. He couldn't figure out how Josh thought scaring them and torturing them and hurting them was going to fix things. There was no logic to it. But Chris believed him. He felt like he had to. He felt like after eleven years of friendship he owed the guy at least that.

“I need to get back to my room before my parents notice I'm not there anymore,” Josh said, “I'd invite you in, but I'm not allowed visitors these days, especially anyone who was up at the ski lodge with me. Dad says it's bad press.”

Chris nodded as Josh left, feeling at least a little better about Josh not letting him in before.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't give this a more definitive end than that sorry. Because this story does continue in a different fic.
> 
> I hope you guys understand that Chris and Ashley are meant to care about each other, they just may have had sex for the wrong reasons...
> 
> Props if you get why I picked this title.


End file.
